Telling Your Baby's Daddy

This part is not easy. Regardless, it must be done. It takes two to tango and the baby's father has every right to be in his child's life. Or not. It is his choice. Studies have shown that children who have a positive father-figure in their lives do better in school, get in less trouble, and turn out to become more successful than those who do not have a father-figure present. However, in the end, it is up to him to decide whether he wants to be a father or not.

My advice? Tell the father ASAP. It is better to tell him sooner rather than later. This gives him time to think about his choices. Don't pressure him one way or the other. Instead, be there when he needs to talk. Answer his questions. It is possible he might want a paternity test. If this be the case, fight the urge to be offended. In the end, he has a right to know if the child is his. Even though you may have been completely faithful, a paternity test proves beyond a doubt whether or not he is the father.

At the end of the day, this can go one of three ways.

1. He wants to continue to be with you as well as be a good father.
If this be the case, this is great news! From here on out, you two should work as a team before and after the birth of the baby. You may not always agree, but you both have one common goal: the well-being of your child.

2. He wants to be a father, but he does not want to continue or be in a relationship with you.
This can get a little tricky. This would be the time to get a judge involved. I would also recommend finding a lawyer. Child custody is a tough issue. You want to make sure you have a lawyer to argue your case as well as a judge to rule fairly regarding custody and child support. Keep it professional. After all, your main focus should be to provide the best possible life for your child.

3. He doesn't want to be a father.
Though this may be tough to swallow, it is his decision. Forcing him into fatherhood would only create resentment on both sides. In a perfect world, a man would take responsibility for his actions. In the real world, however, it doesn't always work out this way. This is the time you should turn to friends and family for support. Though he may not be willing to do his duty, you are not alone in this.

How to cope with breastfeeding.

Breastfeeding. How can something so natural be so difficult. I am convinced that if I were in ye olde times when I had my daughter, I would have had to hire a wet nurse so my daughter didn't starve to death. Just as pregnancies differ from woman to woman, no two breastfeeding experiences are ever the same.

I was under the assumption that as soon as my daughter was born, my breasts would produce more milk than a dairy farm. Boy, was I wrong.

Tip #1: Supplement with formula
If it seems like your newborn is hungry all the time and maybe isn't getting enough to eat, follow your gut. You are probably right. For some, like myself, it can take days before a new mom can produce enough milk to satisfy the hunger of a newborn. During this time, it is best to supplement breast feedings with formula. It takes a lot of stress off mom and baby.

Tip #2: Use that pump, sister!
A great way to boost your breast milk supply is to pump. I cannot tell you how much I pumped during the first few weeks. I can tell you my breasts were not in the best shape after the pumping sessions. Not pretty! But, you have a baby to feed, so use that pump, sister!

Tip #3: Do not stress.
Breast feeding can be a wonderful experience. It can also be a very stressful one. If baby is not latching on, try using a special appliance used to help the baby feed. These are available everywhere, including Walmart and Target. If nothing is working, take a break and formula feed. You can always try again the next time baby is hungry.


Tip #4: Consult your pediatrician.
Tell your baby's doctor everything! This does not just apply to breast feeding. Your pediatrician is a fountain of knowledge. If you are having trouble breast feeding or would like a run down of the pros and cons of breast feeding vs. formula, your child's doctor is the person to ask. Also, babies who are breast fed need certain supplements, for example, vitamin D. If your baby is formula fed, the pediatrician may recommend a certain type of formula. Either way, be sure to ask questions and take notes. When my daughter was three weeks old, I became very ill with the flu. I did not talk to the doctor about my concerns about me being sick. My daughter spent three nights with Grandma and Grandpa. When I tried to breast feed after my sickness, I found my daughter to be much more impatient. She just wasn't taking to the breast anymore. Rather than cause a fuss, I decided to move on to formula and did not breast feed anymore after that. Looking back, I feel like if I had just expressed my concerns with her doctor, I may have been able to continue breast feeding. It is a regret I will always have that I did not approach anyone about my problem.



I hope this advice helps with any troubles you may be having. As teen moms, we want to be handle everything and show that we can take care of ourselves and our babies. But, sometimes, things do not turn out as we expect. Breastfeeding is a perfect example of "it is harder than it looks." Do not be afraid to ask for help from a professional or a close friend.


For more information on breastfeeding, I recommend The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding by La Leche League

You're Pregnant! Now What?

Nothing is quite as terrifying to a sexually-active teenage girl than getting pregnant. The instant response from most teens is, “My life is over!” Well, yes and no. Life as you had previously known it is over. Where your new life begins depends on what decisions you make during this critical time.

Know your options!

Abortion:

Abortion is a very touchy subject in society. Don’t worry about what the news or politicians say. No one knows you like you. Abortion is an option which appears to cause the least amount of upheaval in a teenager’s life. However, this notion is not entirely true. Having an abortion leaves a permanent mark on a woman both physically and mentally, no matter how much a woman believes she will not be affected. Abortion may seem like a good choice given your circumstances, but, as with all of the options listed here, know ALL of your choices.

Adoption:

Adoption is a very noble choice. A baby is the best gift a childless couple can ever receive. I know this because my husband is adopted as well as my cousin. However, adoption can also be very difficult emotionally as well as physically. Women who were dead set on adoption were unable to go through with it once the baby arrived. Guilt is also a big factor. However, when it comes to teen pregnancies, adoption is a very good option. It provides something of a second chance for the mother as well as the best chance for the baby. Again, only you know what is best given your situation. Weigh ALL of your options.

Keeping the Baby:

The last choice is to keep the baby. Like all of the other options, it has pros and cons. It drastically changes the lives of all parents, especially teen parents. A lot of planning and sacrifice goes into caring for a baby. On top of that, teen moms also have to consider how they will finish school and who will care for the baby while they are in school. Motherhood is a lifelong commitment. You have to make sure you are able to make that commitment. If you believe you are unable to commit to such a huge responsibility, you should consider the other two options.

No one can make this decision for you. No matter what anyone tells you, you are the one who must live with your decision. This critical choice will impact you for the rest of your life, no matter which choice you make. I recommend all pregnant teens to visit www.plannedparenthood.org. They provide unbiased facts about all of the paths you can take. Take your time and educate yourself.

What was your first reaction when you found out you were pregnant?

Who is Mama Cee?

Hi everyone! Welcome to my new blog. I noticed a shortage of websites dedicated to helping teen moms. That is why I started this blog. I once was a teen mom. I became pregnant with my daughter, Nikki, when I was only 17 years old. It was a life changing experience, but she is certainly worth it. I am now 24 and my daughter is 6. Along the way, I learned a lot of lessons about being not only a new mother, but a teen mother. I learned some of these lessons the hard way. The purpose of this blog is to provide advice to teen mothers from a veteran teen mom. My topics will range from how to break the news to your parents to how to handle the first day of Kindergarten and everything in between. If you have any questions, please feel free to email me or write a comment and I will be more than happy to address your questions in the blog. Being a new mom is hard enough. To be a teen mom may seem like a challenge to climb Mount Everest with no legs, but we have no choice but to succeed. We will succeed together! Never forget, a baby is never a bad thing.
Stay tuned for my next blog: You're pregnant. Now what?
What are you most concerned about when it comes to being a teen mom?