Telling Your Baby's Daddy

This part is not easy. Regardless, it must be done. It takes two to tango and the baby's father has every right to be in his child's life. Or not. It is his choice. Studies have shown that children who have a positive father-figure in their lives do better in school, get in less trouble, and turn out to become more successful than those who do not have a father-figure present. However, in the end, it is up to him to decide whether he wants to be a father or not.

My advice? Tell the father ASAP. It is better to tell him sooner rather than later. This gives him time to think about his choices. Don't pressure him one way or the other. Instead, be there when he needs to talk. Answer his questions. It is possible he might want a paternity test. If this be the case, fight the urge to be offended. In the end, he has a right to know if the child is his. Even though you may have been completely faithful, a paternity test proves beyond a doubt whether or not he is the father.

At the end of the day, this can go one of three ways.

1. He wants to continue to be with you as well as be a good father.
If this be the case, this is great news! From here on out, you two should work as a team before and after the birth of the baby. You may not always agree, but you both have one common goal: the well-being of your child.

2. He wants to be a father, but he does not want to continue or be in a relationship with you.
This can get a little tricky. This would be the time to get a judge involved. I would also recommend finding a lawyer. Child custody is a tough issue. You want to make sure you have a lawyer to argue your case as well as a judge to rule fairly regarding custody and child support. Keep it professional. After all, your main focus should be to provide the best possible life for your child.

3. He doesn't want to be a father.
Though this may be tough to swallow, it is his decision. Forcing him into fatherhood would only create resentment on both sides. In a perfect world, a man would take responsibility for his actions. In the real world, however, it doesn't always work out this way. This is the time you should turn to friends and family for support. Though he may not be willing to do his duty, you are not alone in this.

How to cope with breastfeeding.

Breastfeeding. How can something so natural be so difficult. I am convinced that if I were in ye olde times when I had my daughter, I would have had to hire a wet nurse so my daughter didn't starve to death. Just as pregnancies differ from woman to woman, no two breastfeeding experiences are ever the same.

I was under the assumption that as soon as my daughter was born, my breasts would produce more milk than a dairy farm. Boy, was I wrong.

Tip #1: Supplement with formula
If it seems like your newborn is hungry all the time and maybe isn't getting enough to eat, follow your gut. You are probably right. For some, like myself, it can take days before a new mom can produce enough milk to satisfy the hunger of a newborn. During this time, it is best to supplement breast feedings with formula. It takes a lot of stress off mom and baby.

Tip #2: Use that pump, sister!
A great way to boost your breast milk supply is to pump. I cannot tell you how much I pumped during the first few weeks. I can tell you my breasts were not in the best shape after the pumping sessions. Not pretty! But, you have a baby to feed, so use that pump, sister!

Tip #3: Do not stress.
Breast feeding can be a wonderful experience. It can also be a very stressful one. If baby is not latching on, try using a special appliance used to help the baby feed. These are available everywhere, including Walmart and Target. If nothing is working, take a break and formula feed. You can always try again the next time baby is hungry.


Tip #4: Consult your pediatrician.
Tell your baby's doctor everything! This does not just apply to breast feeding. Your pediatrician is a fountain of knowledge. If you are having trouble breast feeding or would like a run down of the pros and cons of breast feeding vs. formula, your child's doctor is the person to ask. Also, babies who are breast fed need certain supplements, for example, vitamin D. If your baby is formula fed, the pediatrician may recommend a certain type of formula. Either way, be sure to ask questions and take notes. When my daughter was three weeks old, I became very ill with the flu. I did not talk to the doctor about my concerns about me being sick. My daughter spent three nights with Grandma and Grandpa. When I tried to breast feed after my sickness, I found my daughter to be much more impatient. She just wasn't taking to the breast anymore. Rather than cause a fuss, I decided to move on to formula and did not breast feed anymore after that. Looking back, I feel like if I had just expressed my concerns with her doctor, I may have been able to continue breast feeding. It is a regret I will always have that I did not approach anyone about my problem.



I hope this advice helps with any troubles you may be having. As teen moms, we want to be handle everything and show that we can take care of ourselves and our babies. But, sometimes, things do not turn out as we expect. Breastfeeding is a perfect example of "it is harder than it looks." Do not be afraid to ask for help from a professional or a close friend.


For more information on breastfeeding, I recommend The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding by La Leche League